I’m probably going to get some backlash over this. I welcome it.
First, some background. This is not me having a go at overweight people. I was an overweight person, and mentally I still am. I struggle with food all the time. I overeat occasionally, then beat myself up for it and train twice as hard to compensate. It’s not the healthiest approach, but I value my weight loss enough that I never want to go back to that unhappy, unhealthy version of myself.
When I was a lot younger, I was a chunky kid. So chunky the other kids called me Chunk. It bothered me constantly. The bullying was horrible. Looking back on secondary school, I don’t have the fondest memories — something kids should always have.
When I hit college: nights out, smoking, kebabs on the way home. I piled on weight. Then my dad got sick. He wasn’t overweight, but he was extremely unhealthy — a very bad diet, smoked over 40 cigarettes a day, did little exercise. That initially made me spiral. I ate to deal with the hard times, smoked and drank to escape, all the while beating myself up for making things worse.
Eventually I had the realisation that this way of life couldn’t continue. With a lot of trial and error, I got the determination to make a change. I trained obsessively. I cycled into Dublin, hit the gym for 90 minutes, went to work, cycled home, walked some evenings. The problem was still my food — I didn’t know how to eat properly. I thought a large bowl of pasta was a healthy meal.
Over time the weight shifted as I learned more. I got to a healthy weight and felt good. So good that I decided I wanted to help others do the same — so I sold my bike, saved money, and got qualified as a personal trainer.
So What Has This Got to Do with Fat Shaming?
I wanted to give you that background so you know: I was fat, I care, and I’m not saying any of this to bully or make people feel small.
The dictionary definition of fat shaming is “humiliating someone judged to be fat or overweight by making mocking or critical comments about their size.”
Rightly so — any form of bullying is wrong and should not be tolerated.
But we’ve arrived at a point where we can’t criticise anyone for being overweight without being labelled a bully. I believe that’s completely wrong, because being overweight is extremely unhealthy and leads to preventable diseases.
Consider the smoker. We openly tell smokers they smell bad, it looks unhealthy, their breath smells, it will make them sick. Nobody calls that bullying. That’s just people expressing concern. Does the same principle not apply when it comes to weight?
I think there’s a clear difference between bullying and criticism — especially when criticism comes from a place of genuine concern about someone’s health.
Two Categories, Not One
Fat bullying — mocking someone for being overweight, making fun, treating them as less than. This is wrong. Full stop.
Fat criticism — commenting constructively about someone’s weight from a position of care and concern, to help them make a change. This, I think, should be accepted as a normal part of caring about someone’s wellbeing.
Coronary artery disease — fat deposits on the walls of arteries from the lifestyle many of us lead — is the leading cause of death in the world. If that’s not a reason to have honest conversations about weight, I don’t know what is.
My biggest pride as a personal trainer is helping someone who feels a lack of self-worth and confidence lose weight and feel genuinely good about themselves.
No one who ever loses weight regrets it.